I've graduated

Hooray!
2 years of studying the 'Diploma of IT (Networking)' and it's all finally over.
I've been through some pretty insane ups/downs and all sorts of weird stuff but I've managed to come out fine.

Sometimes I think back and I reckon that I didn't do much at all. It's quite relaxed at college afterall. But I gotta remember: This is only the beginning of the rest of my life. This was only just another stepping stone that WILL lead my life somewhere where I want to be and belong. As long as I PUSH forward with everything I got, I can make something out of myself.
Take chances, Make mistakes, Learn from experiences - That's what it's all about.

After all these 2 years, I can proudly say: "I did it"
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Now as I study the 'Advanced Diploma of Network Security', I've felt like I've lost some of that momentum. Study has nearly ground to a halt, morale has dropped like a stone and health is not fairing so well in these winter conditions.

2 more weeks of classes remain before I finish.
I want to finish HARD and STRONG - Not like how I've always done it in the past; fizziling out into a burnt ember.
But I need motivation. Fuel to keep me going. 'Bait' if you will. That invariable carrot hanging out over the donkeys face as it mind-numbbingly slugs step after step forward at the riders will.

It's not because I don't want to see the future. It's not because I can't see the future. But instead, I think it's that I'm too afraid to see the future.

The past I never worry; it's over and done with.
The present I go forward; what else can you do?
The future I freak; what WILL I do?

I'm sometimes I take on the position of a firm believer of inevitablity. Stuff happens because of variables, that you performed, allow it to happen. There were no such thing as "oh... it wasn't entirely my fault" or "whoops, I really didn't mean that to happen".

I've come to realise that when things occur unfavourably, it happens merely by recognising that it MAY happen. - Pessimism, if you will, Murphys law, Finagles law, etc

okay, im going to stop right there. Ranting on will not be healthy for me. I've gotten myself pretty worked up typing this and it IS after-all 1am in the morning.

Goodnight everyone~~